Anadryt has died. My enemies are taking advantages of that I am weak now, telling lies, messing the name of my family, hurting me deeply. Even those I believed once they were my friends are believing them.
Sometimes I think why they can believe I can be that kind of woman... and the answer is just simple: I have got a strong will, stronger than them, and they know this is true. They believe it cause they want to believe I am nor that honorable, cause this way they don't feel so badly with themselves. That is my guiltiness, being strong.
They only want a woman if she is weak, if they can protect her and guide her like if she was idiot, and with this, making them feel better than they are. She has to play the victim and this way they will be a hero. They wont want a woman strong who tells them they are wrong and weak cause the simply truth is that they are running away of their mistakes.
And another thing... unfortunately refusing 29 men in Bree is not a good thing. They only want a woman if they can bed her, if they can´t, curiously that woman is a... bicht? Yeah, It´s much better to believe that woman haven´t got the will enough to refuse them. I am sorry I don't need too much will to refuse the mostly of you, and i don't need to bed any of you even if you say I do.
I am not proud, I don´t think I am better than anyone, I am just proud of my will and I am worried about them, cause they don´t know that staying in their weakness, running away from me and from those that are hard for them to keep them being strong can make them run straight into the darkness. And unfortunately darkness is so near... so pretty at start, especially when they tell you what you want to hear, that your mistake is not a mistake.
Oh... so easy taking advantages of them... so painful watching them falling more everyday... and meanwhile i am here, standing for all those that still are with me, that still want to fight against the darkness. "Cause no...even if you think about it, you can´t be friend of the darkness and of the good people at same time... just only cause one reason... the darkness never will be friend of you... they will use you... to kill your others friends and yourself, and you will sell them at the end, no doubt, you will do it pleased cause at the end... they are telling you what you want to heard: your weakness is fine and you don't need any effort to be better, cause they are masters of the easy way".
But even if I am not broken I have got another weakness, it´s not that I´m too trusted, trust is not a weakness is something everyone should have. My weakness is... that I don't know when to stop... that I don't see when that person left the fight... and I am the only one who is fighting for him or her. I don't know when I am alone infront of the enemy cause for me is so clear we have to fight til the end that... I can´t see when the war is lost.
My father haven´t got that problem, when second chances mean nothing everyone is guilty and deserve a punishment. But... we are not perfect, we can change, and we can be better... would you kill a man that killed 20 people and after that save 200? How can we know that man can´t be the best man after a bad experience? I want to believe everyone can be better, that even in the darkness the stars always are shining, and they will for all of us, cause there is a hope, there is always a hope.
