I'd like to put in here my good news, but I fear there is a dark cloud over it that may throw me into a sea of pain.
The man I wrote about before. I hold in my body his seed, I barely show and if Fal reads this as she always does to check my writing for improvement she will now know that I am with child. Please Fal, do not hate me, do not turn within yourself and hold onto the past. I do not know, as is, if I can keep this child, if my body or the scars within will reject it. Worse yet I fear the words I heard tonight. A man spoke to Aeru and said he prayed that it will go away. When Aeru asked what, this man glanced at me and said Aeru's sadness. Do I bring him sadness? Is this how things will continue for me? I think I find love only to have it dashed on the rocks of sadness and or hatred. I don't know what to do anymore.
