Tired

I finally finished collecting wood for a fire..its been a long time since I actually got to sit down and shift my mind away from current troubles. Leihla...i can't help but think about her on occasion but I was a fool to think I could actually share in a normal life with her..my troubles aways come back. It's my fault for what happened to her, she came to Bree for peace and in meeting me she was brought on trouble, now even Amanda has been in more danger because of me. I'm weary, I finished checking my wounds on my arms, ribs and chest. I am beginning to feel it, Cesistya was right...i need to rest and actually recover but how can I? Everytime I think I have a moment to breath I am almost suffocated again. It is painful and I know I'm getting weaker by pushing through these wounds and receiving more but I have little choice, I need to do what I can. I spoke to a young woman from the battalion...classic Gondorian soldier. She believes the army is the best thing in the world but I say no. The army serves who ever puts more coin in their pockets, instead of serving the people of the land they serve the coin handed to them. After speaking with her..i am glad I left honor. I see now honor and defending the people is no longer a virtue but now it is replaced by the noble coin and power given. They are all the same...but I can't dwell on it, they aren't my issue Just yet. That will be determined after this cult business and whether they stay in Bree or return home. I notice the breelanders already becoming restless around them, won't be long until a confrontation comes, and I know my side. Bree has become my home and even if it's people can be cold, I will protect them with my life for that is my path. To defend and save people from the pain I feel.