Time. I don't like it. Waiting be the worst thing.
I were sewing, I wanted to finish that blanket me Nana Blackburrow had started with me before her passing. It be five years now since she did, and I miss her. That woman were strong, yet could be as soft as warm butter, a wicked sense of humour too, reckon that might be why Pa ain't got as much hair now, all the jesting at his expense! She hid behind the woodpile one time, twigs and leaves in her hair, claws made out of them too, an old sack on her body and dirt rubbed over her skin, scared the life out of him when she jumped out roaring. He almost made it out of the farm gates before he realised it weren't some troll or mad creature, only me Nana. There be days I can see her as clear as anything in my mind, hear her voice, and then others where I have trouble. I don't like time, I don't like what it does.
Ath came back last night, he were gone a good while in that forest, but he is back, safe and were in a good mood too, I suppose it could have gone very wrong in there, and for all his talk, he might not of made it out. I thought of that, too much, that place ain't natural and there be too many people who go in there, never to be seen again. Past few days have had me on edge, like I be sitting on a cliff with me legs dangling, always worried, waiting for the ground to give way or to slip off the side. I'm settled now, one less worry on me mind. I were in the middle of a dream when he arrived, it were so late, I just dozed off in the middle of me sewing. The fire were warm, cat were purring and I'd just had a bowl of thick stew where the taters had gone too soft. It were the same dreams, I can't be rid of them, don't know how to be, don't know if I want to be, but Ath woke me, which muddled the end of me dream, I didn't know if I were awake or asleep for a bit, but I do know I felt a bit more at peace knowing he were safe.
I were told that I should give things time. I'm trying, but ghosts of the past, they keep creeping into the present, they don't care about time, it be meaningless. Yet I sit here and I think, and time be slipping away, so quickly. I can't remember the count of days since I saw me friends, I know things move on and that scares me too, I try to remember, every day the faces of them I don't get to see anymore. I light a candle for some, asking in the little light it gives, for anyone that be listening to watch over them, that I care for them, love them, miss them. I'm scared of what will happen too, days from now I mean. Like I said, sat on that cliff.
Bailey brought me a pair of bloomers...not a mouse, a bird or toad, but underwear! I don't know where they came from, nor will I be asking around. I could be mean, get Ath to knock on a few doors, asking if they belong to anyone. It be all I need, an undies stealing cat. Life be more simple for her.
