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Opinions are like...
Well, it's no secret how that saying goes. That it's become such a tired cliche by this point doesn't make it any less true. If anything, it highlights the potency of the observation.
It's not advice that I need, though people seem quick to offer it.
It's not a new lover that I need, though people seem quick to tell me that I should look.
It's not clarity or luck or fortune or even the illusion of everlasting happiness.
It's peace. Peace of mind. Peace of being.
I need a few days without nightmares. I need a few days without everyone telling me what they think of my life and my relationship. I need a few days without another crisis belonging to someone else weighing down my already-taxed emotional state. I need easy. I need quiet. I need...
I need to get away.
They don't seem to understand.
Yes, Rowan is gone for the time being. Yes, I fear for him. No, this does not mean that I should forget he exists and find someone else to warm my bed. No, this does not mean that he is to blame for everything that I'm feeling right now or that he's thoughtless and neglectful.
Yes, I was angry with Rahvic. No, I'm not going away because of him. No, I'm not leaving to escape his son.
No, it's not all about you!
I do this for me. For my own sake. For my own tranquility.
"You don't have to be strong all the time," she told me.
I'm not. I know I'm not. I give the appearance that I am because showing weakness invites people to take advantage, but that's all it is. A thin veneer. With one thing and another, what is hidden beneath is falling apart and I can't afford for that to happen again. I can't allow it.
So, I go. I go to take time for my own sake, to put it all back together again, so that I can be strong for a little while longer.
But where to go?
As much I enjoy watching the sunrise upon Weathertop, it's far too cold up there right now. No matter where I end up, I'll need extra blankets, but somewhere with a bit of natural shelter will aid against the winter winds.
First thing in the morning I'll point Steel in a direction and let him decide.
