“Lively neighbours you have,” Parnard observed to Danel. ”A spring morning is all laughter and sunshine here."
"They are merry folk and we need more merriment at this time, I deem. They even make me want to dance!” said Danel, and she began to tap her foot on the flagstones in time to the music. “Dance with me!” So commanded, Parnard bowed deeply from the waist, and springing lithely to her side, began to dance the careful, measured steps of a courtly dance.
When the song ended, the flutist said he needed a little rest, and one by one the elves gathered around, for despite the early morning hour Danel had brought several bottles of wine, a new vintage that was flowery, smooth and supple on the palate. “In truth, Parnard, last night was quite difficult for me,” she confided to him in a hushed tone.
"Oh? I am sorry to hear it,” muttered Parnard out of the corner of his mouth, still smiling at everyone as he quickly poured out wine to waiting glasses.
"I would like a merry morning, my friend. So I will say only this: Estarfin tells me he knows he will die here.” Danel rolled her eyes in frustration and gulped down wine. “He tells me he has peace and smiles - does he think me a fool?”
“I - well…” began Parnard, already confused and wary of answering what seemed to be a trick question, but Danel did not wait long enough for him to think of an answer.
“I tell you, I will not break my word to him, but I have ideas.”
Parnard took a large swallow of wine to brace himself. “What kind of ideas?”
“While I did promise Estarfin that I would sail West, I did not promise where.” Danel raised an eyebrow and smiled with an all-knowing look. “I have a friend, a captain - I may have spoken of him - he will depart late in the day, and will give me passage, and any I ask to accompany me, but the Undying Lands are not the only place west he may sail. Oh, do not concern yourself, my friend; I burden you with more than I should," she added, noticing his confused face. She took another gulp of wine then blurted out, “Estarfin named me cruel!"
“No he did not!” Parnard gasped in disbelief.
“He said that my words to him were cruel." She lifted her wine glass up high. “To my maliciousness!”
“But what did you say to him,” he asked, ignoring the sarcastic toast and the disapproving looks from the neighbours, and instead used the opportunity to tip more wine into her glass.
Danel waved her hands around dismissively. “Parnard, there is a deep darkness in his heart and I wanted to understand his seeming enjoyment at slaughtering those Men. I grow frightened for him.”
Parnard looked questioningly at Danel who looked questioningly back at him. “Because it is not - er, fit..?” he ventured.
“Fit! Is it fit to enjoy slaughter! To revel in it! Now, it is fit to slay an enemy, in protection of one’s self or others -”
“Yes, he did do that, admirably.”
“But Parnard! He was so - happy!”
“He was, was he not? Perhaps it was our company.” Parnard’s pleasant smile slid off his face as he saw Danel shaking her head.
“Am I only seeing the worst in him?” she asked as the music and dancing started up again.
“Friend Estarfin has many good virtues," he answered, becoming a little uneasy with this line of talk.
“I all but asked him if he enjoyed killing men, women and children. And he was silent. Then I asked him why he did not let innocents live," she whispered. “He looked at me with disbelief, and said that it would be cruel to leave children to starve or be eaten by wolves. He also said that pups grow up to be wolves, and although innocent, some things had to be done.”
The cold sunlight of the spring morning flickered through the swaying branches and touched the elves' hair with a silvery light. Danel’s face was unusually pale like a white lily, even her lips were pale, yet there were hints of fire in those gray blue eyes. Parnard weighed his response carefully; he did not want to cause any unpleasantness or misunderstanding. “That, to me, sounds like a warrior’s way of looking at life,” he said. "I am not a warrior, so I cannot judge one who thinks like one or who does the deeds of a warrior. Rather, it seems more fitting that we should honour him for holding up his convictions so thoroughly. You cannot help feeling as you do, being a lady, and having a greater measure of natural sympathy towards Womenfolk and their brood.”
“But Parnard, I am a Nolde…”
“So you are. I ask you then, is this the way of your people and of its warriors?”
“It is,” said Danel. “But what Estafin said stung me deeply. I was displeased at what was done and he said my words were cruel, when I would never be cruel to him.”
“He meant that you were cruel to judge him when he was forced to act not according to his own wishes, but to his people’s way and his station in life - at least, that is how it seems to me.”
“Oh, Parnard! What have I done!” Danel cried, her voice heavy with remorse, now that he had explained it so clearly to her.
“What is wrong now! Is Estarfin upset with you?”
Danel shook her head.
“Then whatever is the matter?”
“He said that he will show me the place he dwelt in during most of the Second Age…and then he said it is a hovel with a forge compared to my house in Mithlond and the halls here. What do I care for that? That house at Mithlond was given to me by a departing family, and these halls here belonged to my grandmother…I would not look down on Estarfin for hiding away…many from the Havens dwelt hereabouts. Even after so many years, they remember him. And I was in Eregion at that time, then Imladris. It is as if he has ‘Kinslayer’ emblazoned on his forehead.”
Parnard sat up straight. “What did you just say, Danel?” It was hard to hear the disjointed conversation over the rollicking music and the noisy neighbours’ laughter.
“I do not know,” she said, shaking her head in winey befuddlement.
“You were saying something about something on Estarfin’s head.”
“He has a price on his head from the families of all the Men he has slain, I suspect.”
Parnard nodded with satisfaction. “No doubt it is a tremendously high bounty for such a mighty lord.”
“All he has done was necessary as a warrior of our people, but it made enemies, even amongst our own folk.”
“Well, I would rather remain his friend, and give him the respect and honour that is his just due,” Parnard said. “Estarfin would never willingly seek out evil. Darkness will not take him. Mandos might, however.”
Danel chuckled and patted his arm, the color returning to her face. “Mandos takes us all, one way or another. I hope Estarfin has slept well. He had the choice of the whole house.”
Parnard’s eyes gleamed with an arch light. “You are so concerned for Estarfin. How very charming.”
Danel gave Parnard a hard stare. “Charming? He has suffered greatly in battle defending our folk, and I have added to his sufferings. I should be thankful. I am thankful. But I say things too bluntly at times. Now tell me what you thought of that halfling in Yondershire.”
Parnard made a nonchalant shrug, only too glad to change the subject. “He seemed like a stout enough fellow. I expect that we can count on him.”
“That is what I thought.”
“Yet we do not know exactly how many Men are hiding in that castle ruin. If only Belegos were with us, he could steal up and scale the wall to spy inside.”
“I wish he were here also, but he is always busy.”
“I suppose he must have important duties for his Captain.”
“He said little to me about it. He would have told me if he could; he was always talkative.”
“To you he was always talkative,” said Parnard in a low voice, hiding his smile behind his hand.
“Belegos is a true Lord of his folk. He is honorable and learned. And he has great love and regard for Estarfin: he has told me so. And I think Estarfin thinks likewise.”
“I am mightily gladdened to hear it, mightily gladdened,” said Parnard as he watched the dancers with a critical eye. He was not surprised in the least to hear her praise: Belegos was ever-popular with the ladies.
“To Belegos! Wherever he may be. May he always find the safest path,” said Danel, raising her glass high.
Parnard raised his glass in turn. “To Belegos - wherever he is,” he began, but Danel was not done with her toasting.
“And to us, learning to make good memories again.”
Parnard raised his glass again. “Yet we must build on the old memories.”
“Only on some of them. Only the good ones,” corrected Danel.
“As you like - only the good, then,” conceded Parnard. “And to friend Estarfin, wherever he is. May the Men stay out of his path.” He could not help snickering a little as he said it, but somberly added, “We will try to guide him, as true friends would, should he stumble.”
“And I must take more care not to trip him up! We cannot allow him to fall,” said Danel.
“Do not distress yourself again about this,” reassured Parnard, and decided that Danel had quite enough wine for one day. Estarfin must follow his own path. No doubt we shall be pulled along in his wake like fish on a hook. If he falls, we shall all fall together.
